What is an Abusive Relationship Like?

A Commentary on abuse

In planning a blog about spousal abuse, I (#blogger #blog #somseason #YA #authors) asked a friend to tell me in writing her experience with an abusive boyfriend. This is what she wrote (paraphrased):

My boyfriend won’t let me visit my friends and family. He has made me stop all contact with them except on the phone, but then the other week, he told me to go out for a meal with my friends. When I did, I was punished for it. I know he’ll tell me to do it again though, so I’m confused. He keeps doing this. He makes me feel like I’m going crazy for thinking he’s controlling, saying, I’m being ungrateful because he cares about me. He didn’t want me going to the gym anymore, so I don’t go anymore. He also doesn’t let me go to work, instead, telling me to rely on him for income because he will look after me. I’m not allowed to go out, unless it’s for necessities, but when I do, I need to share my location with him no matter where I go. If I don’t check in with him when I get to the store, I get in trouble. I miss my Mom so much, so last week I snuck off to see her, he caught me, and I was punished for it. My Grandma is dying in a nursing home, but I’m forbidden to see her. I’m not allowed to do anything unless he says so. I want to book a holiday to go visit relatives, but he said no. I wanted to go back to school, but I wasn’t allowed to do that either. I can’t wait until I’m allowed to do these things. I know the time will come soon, and he will change. I know he’s only doing this because he loves me. He’s doing all of this for my own good.

Okay, I’ll be honest. I didn’t get that from a friend. I saw it on a meme, but I bet it got your attention. Perhaps you believed me, illustrating how easily we can be manipulated to think something. I suspect some of you thought the above narrative was about an abusive relationship between a girl living with her abusive boyfriend, but it’s not that at all. At the end of the meme, it said, “Oh wait, did I say boyfriend? I meant the government.” Are we in an abusive relationship with our governments? Is our relationship with health officials and the mainstream media healthy? Let’s explore.

Edmonton Police Services defines abuse as an attempt to control the behaviour of another person. I call this bullying (#bullying #antibullying). Psychology Today’s article, 10 Red Flag Warning Signs of Abuse, lists warning signs of an unhealthy, one-sided relationship. It lists signs such as, attempt to control all aspects of a partner’s life, attempt to isolate the partner from family and friends, being disrespectful by blaming, shaming, and putting the partner down, and threatening with harm if you don’t do what they want. Would authorities do that?

I urge you to watch the video OH CANADA. WAKE UP! (Source: Justice Centre for Constitutional Freedoms), and you’ll see all the warning signs listed above are all checked off. Shaming is real, as shown in the article Shaming of the unvaccinated intensifies. Ontario gives police new powers to enforce stay-home order and ban on outdoor gatherings is yet more evidence of bullying by government.  Even our police forces are abusive as Ontario police officer pushes child to the ground at park. Mandy Hale says, “A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your friends, your dreams, or your dignity.” This is so true, so my conclusion is we are in an unhealthy relationship with our governments, police, and health officials. Yet, people like Dr. Anthony Fauci, the chief medical advisor to President Joe Biden, told CNN “…it was very very clear that he was talking about liberties that were being restricted. This has nothing to do with liberties…” (see Dr. Fauci).

Speaking of the mainstream media (MM): Are we in an abusive relationship with them? One of the warning signs of abuse mentioned above is the attempt to control. Is the MM attempting to manipulate us by controlling the narrative and trying to persuade us to think a certain way? Sky News Australia, itself considered MM, says Mainstream media is ‘deliberately engaging in propaganda’ to control ‘the way you think’.  Listen to its video to find out why. Another video titled, CNN Director ADMITS Network Engaged in ‘Propaganda’ to Remove Trump from Presidency, has recently gone viral. Check it out. The CNN Director admits it delivers propaganda and uses fear right on camera.

Here is The Federalist’s story about the video. Perhaps this is why CNN has shed more than half its viewers since Biden took office, down staggering 60%.  Then there’s MM’s Globe and Mail paid £27,776 by U.K. government for coverage.

Seems like control to me.  The latest media lie being revealed is The Brian Sicknick Case Shows How the Media Make Their Own Reality and Greenwald blasts New York Times, media for initial reports on Sicknick’s death: ‘Complete fiction.’ Journalist Glenn Greenwald divulges The New York Times “published an emotionally gut-wrenching but complete fiction that never had any evidence” by initially reporting that Sicknick’s “skull was savagely bashed in with a fire extinguisher by a pro-Trump mob until he died.” Washington’s top medical examiner recently debunked this media narrative announcing U.S. Capital Police officer Brian Sicknick suffered two strokes and died of natural causes the day after he was confronted during the January 6 US Capitol riots. Just another example of how we’ve been abused—or shall we say bullied—by the MM.

NBC News Digital, also part of the MM, has an article, U.S. commander: Intel still hasn’t established Russia paid Taliban ‘bounties’ to kill U.S. troops. Here is CNN’s June 2020 story: Washington Post: Russian bounties to Taliban fighters believed to result in deaths of US troops, intelligence assessments show. The credibility of the Taliban report by MM alleged the Russian government was paying bounties to Taliban fighters to kill U.S. troops in Afghanistan to make people think negatively about the Trump Administration. Now it is shown to be yet another lie to manipulate our thinking about Trump. It is abundantly clear to me that we are in an abusive relationship with the MM. Joss Whedon, in Astonishing X-Men, Volume 2: Dangerous says, “The news isn’t there to tell you what happened. It’s there to tell you what it wants you to hear or what it thinks you want to hear.” For me, MM has no credibility.

How do you solve abusive relations? Jonathan Mead says, ‘Sometimes the easiest way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem.’ That means we must start thinking for ourselves and stop blindly believing what we are told by governments, health officials, and MM. I remind you of what Adolf Hitler once said, “What good fortune for those in power that people do not think.” Or as Hitler’s Minister of Propaganda, Joseph Goebbels, said, “If you repeat a lie often enough, people will believe it, and you will even come to believe it yourself.” Could this be what MM is doing?  Could they be telling lies about the alleged pandemic? I’m merely asking the question. Goebbels also said, “A lie told once remains a lie but a lie told a thousand times becomes the truth.” It is time to do your own thinking!

Goebbels’ best quote, however, is, “There will come a day, when all the lies will collapse under their own weight, and truth will again triumph.”  W. Clement Stone once said, “Truth will always be truth, regardless of lack of understanding, disbelief or ignorance.” Or, as Flannery O’Connor says, “The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.” I believe the truth will triumph, we will eventually know the truth. In Phaedrus, a dialogue written by Plato, it says:

“Things are not always what they seem; the first appearance deceives many; the intelligence of a few perceives what has been carefully hidden.”

What has been carefully hidden from us?

Selective Pandemic Attention

Rajneesh (born Chandra Mohan Jain, also known as Acharya Rajneesh, Bhagwan Shri Rajneesh, and later as Osho, was an Indian mystic, and founder of the Rajneesh movement. He was asked about 40 years ago during AIDS: How do I avoid an epidemic [pandemic]? “You’re asking the wrong question,” Osho replied, “the right question should be: How to avoid the fear of dying caused by the epidemic [pandemic]? Because it is very easy to avoid the virus, it is very difficult to avoid the fear in you and in the world. People will die more from this fear than from the epidemic (pandemic). There is NO virus in this world more dangerous than FEAR. Understand this fear, otherwise you will become a dead body before your body dies. It has nothing to do with the virus. The scary atmosphere you feel in these moments is collective madness…It has happened a thousand times and will continue to happen. And it will continue if you don’t understand the psychology of crowds and fear. You usually keep your fear at bay, but in the moment of collective madness, your consciousness can be completely lost. You won’t even know when you lost control of your fear. Then fear can make you do anything. In such a situation you can also take your own life or the lives of others. So much will happen in the coming times: Many people will kill themselves and many people will kill more. Attention, be mindful. Don’t watch news that triggers fear. Stop talking about the epidemic [pandemic], repeating the same thing over and over again is like self-hypnosis. Fear is a kind of self-hypnosis. This idea will cause chemical changes in the body. If you repeat the same idea over and over again, a chemical change is triggered that can sometimes be so toxic that it can kill you. During an epidemic [pandemic], energy around the world becomes irrational. This way you can fall into a black hole anytime. Meditation then becomes a protective aura into which no negative energy can penetrate.” (Source: Journalist Eye)

Osho’s answer to the questions makes a lot of sense. Are we being ruled and controlled by fear of this pandemic? I wrote about this in my last post The Real Pandemic. The mainstream news media is solely focused on the pandemic, instilling fear into the masses. As Osho said, “Don’t watch news that triggers fear.” My question is: Is this intentional? Are there people who want to keep us in fear? That is the question that needs answering.

It reminds me of something I (#blogger #blog #somseason #authors  #YA) used to do with my students when teaching about the brain. Watch the video below and follow its directions.

The first time I saw this video, I failed to see the gorilla, and the majority of my students did as well. When we focus exclusively on one thing, we fail to see what is really happening. Could people be so focused on Covid; so caught up in the fear of dying from Covid, that they miss things? When we’re solely focused on Covid, we fail to notice that more people are dying of suicide and drug overdoses than Covid deaths. Isn’t this what Osho said, “Many people will kill themselves…” I mentioned in my last post, the US director for the Center for Disease Control, Robert Redfield, says,

“We’re seeing far greater suicides’ and ‘deaths from drug overdose’ than deaths from COVID, and prolonged school closures may be more dangerous than coronavirus.”

Interestingly, the mainstream media is relatively silent on this topic. Why is that? Do they want us fearful? I’m merely asking the question.

When we exclusively focus on the pandemic, we fail to notice that our rights and freedoms are slowly being taken away from us. We no longer have the freedom to gather in large groups. We no longer have the freedom to enter many places without having to wear a face mask. We no longer are able to run our businesses and schools as usual. Numerous countries have suspended fundamental democratic rights such as freedom of assembly, freedom of movement and protections against warrantless searches and warrantless arrests (source Forbes).

When we’re solely focused on Covid, we fail to notice that our democracies are threatened. In my province (Alberta) the government passed Bill 32 which reduces picketing rights, limits arbitrators’ discretion, lowers the legal age of work to 13 years old, and provided employers with opportunities to evade paying overtime premiums. According to research from the International Institute for Democracy and Electoral Assistance, at least 56 countries have delayed national or regional elections due to the coronavirus pandemic (source Infogaphic). Here in Canada, the House of Commons voted to suspend full parliamentary sitting until September. The argument is the virus is too dangerous for elections and for parliament to sit. Is this pandemic so dangerous that democracy has to be suspended, or even removed?

When we exclusively focus on the pandemic, we fail to notice that humanity is more divided than ever; pro-maskers verses anti-maskers, pro opening the economy verses keeping it closed, those who believe the media verses those who are accused of being conspiracy theorists, and pro police verses those who advocate defunding the police. TMZ reports that the pro-police group, Back the Blue, and some Black Lives Matter protesters brawled in Fort Collins, Colorado. It reports the Back the Blue crowd went after the BLM protesters. If ever there was a time for humanity to be united and working together, it is now.

There is something else we’re missing when we solely focus on Covid; something that I have been reading a lot about recently, and once again the mainstream media is silent about it. What I’m referring to is human trafficking and missing children. According to The National Crime Information Center (NCIC), 448 090 people under 21 and 161 108 over 21 went missing in 2019 in the US.  In Canada, with a much smaller population of 37 million (2019) 40, 425 reports of missing children in Canada was reported by the RCMP using numbers provided by the Canadian Police Information Centre (CPIC) in 2019. (source the Missing Children Society of Canada). One child missing is too many as far as I am concerned.

Fact Retriever’s article, 56 Little-Known Human Trafficking Facts, says:

  • According to United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), over the past 30 years, over 30 million children have been sexually exploited through human trafficking.
  • Nearly 80% of human trafficking is for sex, and 19% is for labor exploitation.
  • Human trafficking around the globe is estimated to generate a profit of anywhere from $9 billion to $31.6 billion. Half of these profits are made in industrialized countries.
  • Human trafficking is one of the fastest growing criminal enterprises because it holds relatively low risk with high profit potential. Criminal organizations are increasingly attracted to human trafficking because, unlike drugs, humans can be sold repeatedly.
  • Human trafficking is estimated to surpass the drug trade in less than five years.

Now I can only speak for myself, but these statistics are alarming! This is bullying (#bullying #antibullying) on a grand scale. What I don’t understand is why this is not being reported by mainstream media. I do not understand why there is not a huge outcry on this planet, like the one we saw with ‘black lives matter,’ over missing children and human trafficking. Black lives matter! Indigenous lives matter! Don’t Children’s lives matter? (#ChildrensLivesMatter #SaveOurChildren #ChildTrafficing)