High School – Sommer Season all year

What is Happening in Our Schools? (Part two)

When I wrote (#blogger #blog #somseason #YA #authors) What is Happening to Our Schools? I thought our schools couldn’t get any worse, but it turns out I’m wrong. The school insanity continues.

When I began teaching in my first school, I was told there was a dress code for teachers which meant male teachers had to wear a tie. My, how things have changed. In September of 2022 a Canadian school backed trans teacher with giant prosthetic breasts, with the stance they’re protecting “gender rights.” It seems anything goes nowadays, including males wearing prosthetic breasts. I would have been fired, and likely put into a mental institution, if I’d pulled such a stunt. Ironically, now it is being reported that this Trans teacher with Z-size prosthetic breasts dresses as man outside of school. One would think if you sincerely want to be a female, you would dress like one on all occasions. Even more insane is A British Columbia secondary school is promoting a workshop for students between 14-year-olds to 19-year-olds on how to access “gender affirming care. Now we’re teaching kids how to change genders.

We Canadians think we live in a country where there is freedom of speech, but that is an illusion. A Canadian Student was Kicked Out of Catholic School for Expressing Biblical Beliefs on Gender. You can say what you want if it agrees with authorities, but the reality is Big Brother is watching you. In case you don’t know, the phrase ‘Big Brother Is Watching You’ comes from the novel 1984 by George Orwell, a novel I studied in high school. It has since become a phrase that refers to threats of government scrutiny.

Watch the news cast about a High School that Orders Removal Of All Urinals In The Name Of Gender Equity. These school board believes All-gender washrooms are a big sign of inclusion in these Canadian schools. Do students support this? Not all of them as Students protest multiple ‘gender neutral’ bathrooms at Alberta high school. My great niece attends one of these schools with ‘gender neutral’ washrooms, and she avoids going to the washroom all day because of fear of meeting boys there. That signals there’s a problem with ‘gender neutral’ washrooms.

I just read about a Parent furious a transgendered men was allowed into girls’ changing room at Calgary pools. Is this what is happening in our schools? If the school has gender neutral washrooms, it is happening. Watch the video below about a student who leaves woke school board SPEECHLESS. This kid is amazing! He reveals truth. This grade 11 student tells about his experience in school and why he is changing schools.

You can also watch it on Rumble should censorship happen. The censorship going on is not only about gender, but it’s also about racism as Anti-Anglophone “Wokeness” Dominates Canada’s Education System. Being a white (Caucasian) is a bad thing now. Then there is the pronoun confusion. The pronoun thing confuses the hell out of me, so I’m sure our young people are confused too. Watch the video, This Is Really Where the Pronoun Madness Has Led to. The video is about a middle school student in the United States being charged with sexual harassment because he refused to use pronouns. This is bullying (#bullying, #antibullying)! and it’s not only happening in Canada.

I recently read that Dr. Seuss was re-classified as adult fiction, gets “racism” complaints: Ottawa Public Library. The thing about our schools is books are being censored because they are deemed as racist, yet a Canadian dad feels the need to rip school board for sexually explicit book available to young children, gender policies. Watch this 11-year-old SILENCE a School Board as he reads from a sexually explicit book found in his school library. You can also watch it here. If you’re a parent, ask why: Are These 7 LGBT ‘Kids’ Books in Your Child’s Classroom or School Library? A Father exposes child grooming books in Canadian schools. Is this what is happening? Are our children being groomed? The article suggests sexually explicit books are being used as tools by predators to aid them in child grooming. Are people trying to normalize pedophilia? If you’re a parent or grandparent, read this article. It’s alarming to think this may be why these types of books are showing up in school libraries.

As far as I’m concerned, our school system is warping the minds of our children. We are confusing kids about gender and teaching them to be racist. That is what Critical Race Theory does in my view, and many others agree. Is there an agenda? You bet. ‘A lot of reason to be afraid,’ says censured teacher critical of the woke revolution in classrooms. In an Interview with the National Post, this teacher said, “Teaching is now a political act that involves indoctrinating children instead of educating them. There’s a lot of reason to be afraid. We are in a kind of cultural revolution and people really do need to pay attention.”

In a February state of the nation speech, Russia’s President Putin said Western nations are trying to “‘distract people’s attention’ from corruption scandals … from economic-social problems…Look at what they do to their own people: the destruction of families, of cultural and national identities and the perversion that is child abuse all the way up to pedophilia, are advertised as the norm … and priests are forced to bless same-sex marriages.” Mainstream Media (MM) maintains Russia is our enemy, but are they? If you have been reading my blogs in past years, you know what I think of the MM. Is Putin merely trying to warn us about the insanity in our Western world?

Here are some other ridiculous things happening in our schools. A N.S. school fires coach after he makes late team members run exercises. When I was teaching, kids were taught to be responsible to their team, and there were consequences for being late. Is that no longer the case? Seems so. School boards placing equity lens as priority even for tree pruning jobs. Equity means staff should reflect the “diversity of the community.” The article states, “It used to be…that prospective employers were not permitted to ask or discriminate against candidates based on age, sexuality, religion and any other personal details that really have nothing to do with one’s ability to perform a particular job. That was when one’s ability to nab a job was based on merit.” I guess ability to do a job doesn’t matter anymore. Human rights are protected for transgender people, but not for those who belong to a majority ethnic group.

Then there is the Canadian school board who votes to terminate teacher who dared to teach truths about Residential School deaths. You’re not allowed to have an opinion or speak truth anymore. It makes people too uncomfortable. “Truth is only visible to those who are able to question everything that they have been taught to believe.” I don’t know who said that, but he or she is bang on. People don’t want to hear truth. It seems Youngsters are becoming infected with adult climate cult hysteria, govt data shows. Let’s panic our youth more. No wonder teachers don’t want to teach anymore. I personally know of a few. It’s why Ontario school boards are hiring uncertified emergency staff.

Yet another survey shows people think things are broken in Canada. This survey says 65% of Canadians agree it feels like many things in Canada are broken. That means 65% are willing to admit something is wrong in Canada. The fact is, all our institutions—schools, government, judicial system, religious institutions and many others—are broken. Things are broken in Canada, and not just in Canada. All of North America and the Western world are broken. As a veteran teacher of 35 years, I find what is happening in our schools very upsetting. I’m happy I am no longer teaching or have children in school. If you’re a parent, or grandparent, you need to pay attention to what’s happening in our schools. Are our children being indoctrinated to think a certain way? Are you okay with that? As a former teacher, I know how easy it is to influence young people, and persuasion can be used for both good or evil. To quote the Pink Floyd song, Another Brick In the Wall, I bet many kids are saying, “Hey, teacher, leave us kids alone.” I say, “leave them kids alone.”

What is Happening to Our Schools?

Those of you who read my (#blogger #blog #somseason #YA #authors) blog know that I am a retired school teacher. Over the years, I’ve participated in and supervised many school events that were fun and brought joy to students. We’ve just had Valentine’s Day, and at one of the schools I taught at the High School Student Council would organize events like sending a flower, along with a message, to their boyfriends or girlfriends, to someone they secretly liked, or to someone they admired. Even I received a flower on occasion. This tradition made people feel special and appreciated. I always thought it was a wonderful activity, so you can imagine how shocked I was to read about an Ontario school who banned Valentine’s Day. What is so wrong with Valentine’s Day? It’s a day of tradition where one’s beloved is honoured. Their reasons for prohibiting this day are lame to say the least.

Then there is the BC elementary school cancels Mother’s Day, introduces ‘The Grownups Who Love Us Day’. Why are they trying to erase motherhood and fatherhood from our culture? The school’s reasoning behind the name change is so that all students can feel included in card-making. They claim students with one parent or with a deceased parent are excluded. I went to school with classmates whose mother or father had passed away. It wasn’t an issue then, so why now?

Then there is the New Brunswick (NB) school that silences Oh Canada, Canada’s National Anthem. That’s insanity. NB is a province in Canada. Apparently, Oh Canada is no longer a daily morning event at Belleisle Elementary as the school’s principal dropped it to accommodate parents who didn’t want their children taking part singing the anthem. The principal wouldn’t say why the parents objected to their kids taking part, citing privacy reasons. I guess the “squeaky wheel gets the grease.” The trend nowadays is if something offends just one person, you ban it. As American conservative political commentator, Rush Limbaugh says, “It’s impossible to go through life not offending people. All you have to do is basically have an opinion on anything, and you’re gonna offend people,” or as English-born American political activist, Thomas Paine said, “He who dares not offend cannot be honest.” Stop banning things for a few whiners.

Something is terribly wrong. It seems our schools are becoming places where fun and tradition are banned, but some things schools are doing border on craziness. A Hamilton high school students fired from a hospital co-op placement over “OK” hand gesture. The student’s employer alleged that an “OK” hand gesture she made in a social media photo was a symbol of white supremacy. What? It usually denotes approval, agreement, and all is well or “okay.” Who decided it was a hate symbol? The best one yet is Math now racist according to Ontario court. Say what? Apparently Math Proficiency Tests are “unconstitutional” as it impairs non-white teacher candidates. I’m baffled! Ban proficiency tests, because they’re unfair to immigrant teachers, and allow the quality of teachers to decrease. Seems logical. I’m being sarcastic of course.

Spirit days were huge in the schools I worked in. We had crazy hair days, pajama days, crazy hat days, dress as your hero days, formal dress day, to name a few. They were fun for both teachers and students. Yet, an Ontario school board bans spirit days, wacky hair days for woke reasons. You see, fun days are banned because the school board claims spirit days need to be reimagined because many are racist, ableist (discrimination based on disability), exclusionary and push colonialism. Pardon me? Are they saying crazy hair days are racist or exclusionary? I guess the bald students are excluded, but in my 35 years of teaching, I never taught a student without hair. I worked with colleagues who lacked hair though. Forbidding kids to have fun in school is bullying (#bullying, #antibullying) plain and simple.

A University lecturer is disciplined for wearing Indigenous costume as teaching aid. Yes, you read that correctly. The professor dressed up as an Indigenous person because he was discussing a book about the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. He says he dressed up as an Indigenous person to get his students’ attention, and had reportedly worn other costumes in the weeks leading up to this incident while teaching other lessons. His behaviour was deemed inappropriate although the article fails to say how it’s inappropriate. I guess creative teaching is banned. No wonder students are bored. Then there is the Ontario teacher who is allowed to keep license after criticizing WOKE ideology, but we live in a country where free speech is allowed, right?

Where things really get bizarre are the positions taken by authorities regarding sex education and gender issues. Take for example the Waterloo school board trying to obliterate debate over sexualized children’s books. The board decided not to post the video of a controversial public meeting where a long-serving teacher was cut off for questioning the value of two highly sexualized children’s books in school libraries. Another School Board cuts mom’s mic for reading GRAPHIC assignment given to daughter. I guess it’s okay for 15-year-olds to read these assignments but inappropriate for a mother to read it to the School Board whiling expressing her horror. You can’t make this stuff up, folks.

Then there is the Ottawa school board gender guide that says teachers can’t question washroom preferences. The board orders teachers to accommodate students who wish to use the opposite sex’s change rooms, affirming that “self-identification” is the only determinant of a student’s gender. When I was in school, students were disciplined for going into the opposite sex’s washrooms. I guess it’s okay in today’s schools. Most disturbing is the Masturbation homework given to B.C. junior kindergarten students. Yes, you read that right; kindergarten students. Kindergarten students are as young as 4 years old. The teacher sent home a masturbation worksheet taken from a guide called “Body Smart: Right From the Start.” When I was teaching, we would have been severely reprimanded, if not fired, for doing such a thing.

Then there is the university Professor who says let’s ditch the term pedophile for ‘minor-attracted person’. I have nothing to say about that, except to quote author Mike Lew who said, “The rape of a child is a violent act of contempt, not an expression of sexuality or affection.”

Edmonton, an Alberta city, is embedding “anti-racism” into the kindergarten-to-grade 6 curriculum, as explained in the news article, Edmonton to teach kindergarteners “anti-racism” curriculum. Critical Race Theory (CRT) is controversial to say the least, and that’s a whole other blog post. True North columnist Sue-Ann Levy says, “School boards…are already trying to indoctrinate kids as young as kindergarten with this very dangerous CRT philosophy, which is divisive and racist in its selectivity.” I couldn’t agree more. CRT is indoctrination.

The National Post columnist, Rex Murphy: Toronto school board takes lunacy to a whole new level. He talks of a Toronto School board who is contemplating censoring a Jewish trustee who complained about anti-Semitic materials. What is there to say about that? I guess it is okay to have students read anti-Semitic books as well as sexualized children’s books.

A new Leger poll reveals reports that Canadians agree with Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre that Canada is broken. The poll says 67% of Canadians agree with the statement made by a Canadian politician who stated that “it feels like everything is broken in this country right now”. I have to agree! Canada’s schools certainly are broken. American football player, Justin James (J.J) Watt, said, “What I remember most about high school are the memories I created with my friends.” I guarantee you those memories were not teacher lessons. Memories came from fun. Stop taking the fun out of schools. Stop this madness!

Who Are Those Characters?

Are those characters based on actual people?

Someone asked me (#blogger #blog #somseason #YA #authors) a while back if the characters in my book, A Shattered New Start, were based on real people. That is a great question, and the short answer is no. If you’re unfamiliar with the book, here is a teaser.

I’ve worked with thousands of students, and hundreds of teachers, during my 35-years of teaching, and each person is unique in their own way. Having said that, there are definitely certain types of students and teachers. To answer the question, my characters are based on categories of students and teachers. I’ll start with the teaching staff at Rabbit Hill Academy, the setting for the book.

For convenience, I’ll refer to an article, What Is Your Teaching Personality Type? which uses Myers-Briggs personality types to identify types of teachers.

In A Shattered New Start, the Science teacher is what the article refers to as “a Purist.” These teacher types are passionate about education, zealous about their subject, have a positive and optimistic outlook, and often inspire both teachers and pupils to greatness. I like to think I was one of those teachers, however, I’m sure there are former students and colleagues who disagree. The science teacher in my book was based a lot on how I approached teaching. In my experience, these teachers were dedicated professionals who loved working with young people and wanted to make a difference in their student’s lives.

The Math teacher in Rabbit Hill Academy is what the article refers to as “The Teacher.” They are imaginative and observant, authoritative and patient, loyal and hardworking. These teachers take their job seriously.

“The Renegade,” in my story is the Physical Education (PE) teacher, as she tends to take her perfectionism and planning to the extreme. In A Shattered New Start, she is the ‘rookie teacher’ who fears failing and who is out to change the world. Most teachers start off idealistic and enthusiastic. I certainly did.

The English teacher is “The Inspirer.” These teachers bounce around the classroom shouting like maniacs about a subject, and imploring pupils to get involved. They are the passionate and energetic teachers, typically getting excited about a topic that students couldn’t care less about. In my experience, these are the teachers who like to be in the spotlight, are dramatic, and like to perform for their students.

The article called some teacher types “The Thinker.” The Social teacher in my school story is that. These educators bring a questioning approach to their teaching. In my experience, they try to get students to think. I’ve worked with many colleagues who taught this way, and I too liked to ask students thought provoking questions.

The Principal of the school is “The Supporter,” a leader with honestly good intentions and who works hard for school improvement and execution. The principal in A Shattered New Start is also “The Conventionalist,” who is honest and dutiful, and a role model. I worked with these types of leaders and those were some of the best years of my career. After all, the school principal sets the tone of the school.

For the students in my book, I’ll use the articles, 13 Types of Students…. and Types of kids in High School for reference.

The victim in my bullying (#bullying #antibullying) school story is what the article, 13 Types of Students, calls the “Intellectual Outsider.” They are the outcasts and are used to their classmates ignoring him. These students are often odd and distrustful, and usually very smart. The victim in A Shattered New Start has an impediment that makes him a prime target for bullies. I’ve comforted many victims of bullies over the years.

Neither article describes the victim’s best friend in my story. This character is very loyal, to the point where he’s jealous of anyone else his friend pays attention to. This is the friend who would do anything for his best friend. The label I would use for my character is “Hothead.” These students become worked up easily and are seldom afraid to express themselves, often seeming aggressive to others.

The Bully of my book, both articles refer to as “The Bully.” This is the kid that has no friends and appears very threatening. This article also has a type called “EMO.” These kids look sad or pissed off at the world. They wear the same clothes over and over again. EMO kids want attention and would do anything for it. I’ve had many of these types in my classes over the years.

The new kid in my story is the “Hard Worker.” The article, 13 Types of Students, says these students are highly motivated, know what they want, and know how to achieve their goal. They are not always the smartest student, but they try hard. In my experience, these students are positive, happy, self-confident, and pleasant to be around. These students I admired.

The annoying student in A Shattered New Start is what the article, 13 Types of Students, calls “Overactive.” This student always has a question to ask and comment to make. They often become irritating for both teachers and their classmates. In my experience, these are the students who ask the very question the teacher just finished answering. These students would make their classmates groan and shake their heads, and frustrate us teachers.

Indian actress, Deepika Padukone, when she spoke about her battle with depression and anxiety said:

When you look at a person, any person, everyone has a story. Everyone has gone through something that has changed their life. Anxiety, depression and panic attacks are not signs of weakness. They are signs of trying to remain strong for way too long.

American writer, Nick Flynn says, “Perhaps everyone has a story that could break your heart.” I learned as a teacher, sometimes the hard way, that every child has a story and many of their stories regarding their home life and social life were tragic. My characters in A Shattered New Start all have a story, and many of those stories—or shall I say challenges—were issues my students faced. The article, Middle School Issues Commonly Faced By Kids, outlines many of those issues. My characters were no different.

John Holt is a teacher who became disillusioned with the school system after several years of working within it. In his book, How Children Fail, he said:

We destroy the disinterested (I do not mean uninterested) love of learning in children, which is so strong when they are small, by encouraging and compelling them to work for petty and contemptible rewards — gold stars, or papers marked 100 and tacked to the wall, or A’s on report cards… in short, for the ignoble satisfaction of feeling that they are better than someone else…. We kill, not only their curiosity, but their feeling that it is a good and admirable thing to be curious, so that by the age of ten most of them will not ask questions, and will show a good deal of scorn for the few who do…The anxiety children feel at constantly being tested, their fear of failure, punishment, and disgrace, severely reduces their ability both to perceive and to remember, and drives them away from the material being studied into strategies for fooling teachers into thinking they know what they really don’t know.

Another teacher, John Taylor Gatto, taught thirty years in the public school system and wrote the book, Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling. In his book, he argues that conventional schooling is destroying the natural curiosity and problem-solving skills everyone is born with, and replacing it with rule-following, fragmented time, and disillusionment.

I have to agree with both authors. I started reflecting on the school system I was a part of for 35 years after I retired from teaching; a profession I loved. In July of 2019, I wrote a blog titled, Was I One Those Teachers Who Smothered Creativity, or Indoctrinated Children? During that time I wondered if that were true, and I now believe it to be true. We teach kids to regurgitate facts and give us what we want, then reward them with good grades. The most common question I got from students was, “What do I need to know for the test?” We squelch creativity, critical thinking, and curiosity. Many of the kids I taught were artistic and creative, but were disillusioned with school, and didn’t want to be there. Now I understand why.

My book, A Shattered New Start, gives an understanding to Factory model schools which are used today. Isaac Asimov, an American writer says, “Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is.” Maybe he is right. At least that way people might think for themselves instead of rule-following and becoming disillusioned. The time is ripe to create an education system that promotes curiosity, creativity, and problem-solving skills; a system that makes students better human beings.

Bullying Takes Many Forms

A commentary on the forms of bullying

I (#blog, #blogger, #YA, #authors, #somseason) stumbled upon an article, Bullying can happen in many different forms, which made me reflect on my life. The article says that most people accept physical bullying (punching, pushing) as bullying (#antibullying, #bullying), but that other forms of bullying are not as wildly accepted as bullying. In my recent post, Why do Things Have to be Complicated? I suggested that we make the definition for bullying simple, suggesting; “If someone feels unsafe or threatened by another, then they are being bullied.” Now I think I should expand that definition to read: “If someone feels unsafe, threatened, rejected, or inferior because of another, then they are being bullied.” The article lists some kinds of bullying as:

Verbal (name-calling)
Physical (punching, pushing)
Social (leaving someone out of a game or group on purpose)
Extortion (stealing someone’s money or toys)
Cyberbullying (using computers, the Internet, mobile phones, etc. to bully others)

The article says all forms of bullying are harmful, but argues verbal bullying, which includes name-calling, is the most common type of bullying. I would have to agree. Never have I had a school yard supervision without some little person running up to me saying, “____called me a ____” You fill in the blanks. Social bullying was also a common occurrence as little ones often came up to me while on supervision saying, “____won’t play with me.”

This article provides an interesting fact (although it gives no reference as to where the fact came from). The article claims, “bullying happens to someone in Canada every seven minutes on the playground.” For the author talks for my book, A Shattered New Start, I use a PREVNet statistic, which is a Canadian authority on bullying research, who say, “75% of people say they have been affected by bullying.” I suspect that number is even higher. The point is, bullying is epidemic.

Another fact the article mentions is; “Other kids are watching 85% of the time when one kid bullies another kid. Adults, like teachers or parents, hardly ever see a bully being mean to someone else.” This is true. Kids are always watching whether you are aware of it or not. For my author talks, I use some stats provided by the Canadian Red Cross, who say; “Over half of bullied children do not report being bullied to a teacher,” and “71% of teachers say they usually intervene with bullying problems; but only 25% of students say that teachers intervene.” The latter stat is concerning. The truth is, kids perceive teachers as ‘not caring’ or ‘turning a blind eye.” From my experience of a 35-year veteran retired teacher, I don’t believe that is true. It is more likely teachers don’t see the bullying happening. We only hear about it after the incident.

In my last post, I Want to Know, I solicited bullying stories, and I am still doing that. I offered a free promo code to the first 15 people who sent me their bullying story, and in return they could download a digital version of my book, A Shattered New Start, from the iTunes bookstore. My email is: authorkjsom@gmail.com. The codes are valid until June 1^st, so you need to hurry. Since I am asking to hear other people’s bullying stories, it is only fair that I share more of mine, so here goes.

Have I ever been the recipient of verbal bullying? You bet, even as a teacher. I have been told to, pardon my language, “fuck off,” a few times as a teacher. Probably the time that stands out most was during my second or third year as a ‘rookie teacher.’ I received in the mail—it was snail mail in those days—a hand written letter from a student, or maybe a group of students, telling me to quit teaching. The author(s) of the letter called me some unkind names. As an insecure ‘rookie teacher,’ that was a blow to the self-esteem. I felt unsafe, threatened, and rejected because of this letter. What might these kids do next, and in fact, my vehicle was “keyed” (scratched by a key) or vandalized around that time, so for all I know it was the same kids.

That letter bothered me for a long time, but I accepted it was kids being kids. As the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry says,

Adolescents differ from adults in the way they behave, solve problems, and make decisions. Teenagers occasionally behave in an impulsive, irrational, or dangerous way…[they] don’t think things through or fully consider the consequences of their actions.” That doesn’t make the bullying okay, but it makes it understandable.

A home-schooling friend of ours, who recently read my book, A Shattered New Start, told me that it never occurred to her that a teacher might feel frightened by a student. I have on many occasions. My daughter, who is also a teacher, told me she has as well, and she teaches kindergarteners and grade ones. Students can be intimidating.

Have I ever been the recipient of physical bullying? You bet. I remember in elementary school—don’t remember what grade I was in—my brother and I were walking home from school. We lived in a small town, so we had to walk to and from school. One of the town bullies was harassing my brother and I, calling us names, etc. What I remember most is the bully taking snow and rubbing it into our faces. My brother and I were scared as the bully was bigger than either of us. It was a humiliating and upsetting experience. We definitely felt unsafe and threatened by this bully.

Have I ever been the recipient of social bullying? You bet, as a non-athletic person. All throughout school, in gym class, I was always one of the last kids to be picked for a team. You remember those times because you feel unwanted and rejected. I felt inferior thinking I was not good enough to play on a team.

Have I ever bullied? I am sad to say, yes. As a teacher, I once strapped a student. In the early part of my career, corporal punishment was the norm. I hated it. Inflicting pain on a student felt awful. The belief was, if you inflicted physical punishment on a kid, it would be a deterrent; ensuring they would never commit the infraction again. It seldom worked though. I only ever did it once because it was such an unpleasant experience. There was nothing about being a bully—in my case, carrying out corporal punishment—that felt good.

So, there you have it; some more of my experiences with bullying. Please, please send me some of your bullying experiences, and don’t leave out your feelings. If you are kind enough to share your bullying experience, you’ll receive a free promo code to download a digital version of my book, A Shattered New Start, from the iTunes bookstore, but hurry, as the codes expire June 1^st.

Email me at: authorkjsom@gmail.com.

Why do Things Have to be Complicated?

A commentary about what bullying is.

Adam Davies is a former member of Nova Scotia’s Chignecto-Central Regional School Board who writes commentaries. His editorial: Is the word bullying misunderstood? published in the Halifax, Nova Scotia’s (NS) Chronicle Herald asks the question: Is the word bullying maligned, misunderstood or meaningless? This is a valid question. If you google the definition of bullying on the Internet, you get 184 million hits. That is a lot of definitions, and they do vary greatly. Two people can witness the same incident, and one might say it was bullying (#antibullying, #bullying) and the other it was not. Why? Because each has a different definition of bullying.

Mr. Davies says;

Many of us know a textbook definition of the word, such as this from the provincial school code of conduct: ‘Bullying means behaviour, typically repeated, that is intended to cause or should be known to cause fear, intimidation, humiliation, exclusion, distress or other harm to another person’s body, feelings, self-esteem, reputation or property, and can be direct or indirect, and includes assisting or encouraging the behaviour in any way.’

However, he argues that definitions leave gaps. For example, Mr. Davies argues some bullying is dismissed as teasing or horseplay. “Clearly, bullying only means what we want it to mean,” he says. In his editorial, Mr. Davies refers to an incident that occurred in a NS High School. A CTV News report, Several students suspended after alleged assault at Cape Breton high school, describes the incident that Mr. Davies is referring to. It also has an edited video of the disturbing incident, which was a violent incident at the NS high school that was circulated on social media. It shows a grade 9 student being attacked by another student who literally throws the grade nine student across the locker room. The attacked student was hurt in the incident.

The author of the editorial argues that many news reports described the incident as an alleged assault but there were others who described it as bullying. Yahoo News’s headline, Assault caught on video at Cape Breton high school, calls it an assault, while the Halifax Chronicle Herald’s headline, Bullying incident in Coxheath shines light on complex issue, calls it bullying. So, the question is: Was it bullying or was it an assault? It’s both. An assault is a physical attack, and that clearly happened in the NS incident.

Before COVID-19, I (#blog, #blogger, #YA, #authors, #somseason) gave author talks for my book, A Shattered New Start. In that talk, I used a definition for bullying from Bullying Reporting and Prevention (BRIM), a company that develops Anti-Bullying Software. Their definition is designed for children, which is why I used it, and it says, “Bullying is when you keep picking on someone because you think you’re cooler, smarter, stronger or better than them.” Writing a post about the definition of bullying has made me realize even that definition is lacking. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) define bullying “as when there is an imbalance of power; where someone purposely and repeatedly says or does hurtful things to someone else.” Many definitions of bullying say to be bullying, it must happen more than once. The news reports fail to report whether the NS boy was repeatedly assaulted either physically (using your body or objects to cause harm), verbally (using words to hurt someone), or socially (using your friends and relationships to hurt someone). Based on my experience with school bullying, and using definitions like Oxford’s definition, “seek to harm, intimidate, or coerce someone perceived as vulnerable,” which makes no reference to repetition, the NS youth was definitely bullied.

Mr. Davies sites a 2019 research study on student well-being and experiences at school which was commissioned by the Nova Scotia Department of Education and Early Childhood Development. Their report, based on survey data from more than 54,000 students in Grades 4 to 12, did not use the terms bullying or bullying behaviour. Instead, students were asked if they felt unsafe or threatened at school within the past month. According to the survey, 19% of students felt unsafe or threatened at school, with 35% for students with physical disabilities, and 36% for those who identified as LGBTQ. The survey revealed that students were most worried about gossip, pranks and being left out by their friends and peers. Most disturbing to me was 61% of students surveyed reported feeling physically threatened and about half of those surveyed were concerned about cyber threats, including online gossip, hurtful messages and the spread of inappropriate photos.

The survey on student well-being and experiences at school reveals a lot of other things about school life, but the fact that 19%, or approximately one in five students, feel unsafe at school is alarming.

The Canadian Red Cross has a simple definition of bullying. It says, “bullying is a form of aggression where there is a power imbalance; the person doing the bullying has power over the person being victimized.” That is a good definition because it is simple, yet it encapsulates what bullying is. Perhaps there is an even a simpler definition of bullying? Maybe bullying should be defined as when a person is made to feel threatened or unsafe by another person. It’s simple, yet says what bullying is all about.

Bullying typically is defined by three elements: aggression, a power differential, and repetition. I have a problem with the repetition part. If a person feels threatened or unsafe, because of another person, even one time, then in my view, bullying has occurred. Under no circumstances should a person ever feel threatened or unsafe because of another individual. Many will argue that bullying is complex and you can’t define it as I just did, but perhaps that is the problem. Maybe we humans want to make everything more complicated than it has to be. To me it is simple. If a student, or anyone for that matter, feels unsafe or threatened by another, they are being bullied.

Bullying is Epidemic!

Earlier this month, I read a news article which I found quite disturbing, although this story not entirely surprising considering the current climate we live in. On October 7, a 14-year-old student, while his mother was with him, was fatally stabbed outside a Hamilton, Ontario, Canada High School. According to CBC News, four teens were arrested; a 16-year-old male and a female, an 18-year-old male and a 14-year-old male, all charged with first-degree murder. Sadly, this is not the first teen killed by bullies, and then there is the problem of bullied teens committing suicide.

Global News says the family of the teen victim alleges that bullying was a persistent problem in the boy’s life and that the school never addressed the concerns. Canada News says, all five of those investigated are current or former students of the Hamilton high school. The victim’s mother claims the school and board knew about her son’s bullying, but little was done to stop it. “For a month, we’ve been trying to get this dealt with,” she said in tears. Both the school board and Hamilton police have confirmed they were notified of bullying incidents. Investigators were initially hesitant to comment on whether or not bullying and the attack were directly connected.

The Global News article, Experts say zero-tolerance policies aimed at stopping bullying aren’t working, quotes Carol Todd, an educator with a Vancouver-area school board, and whose 15-year-old daughter took her own life in response to violent bullying, said:

“We talk about bullying and we talk about how we can combat it, how can we end it. Are we doing enough to talk about the aspects of compassion, empathy, kindness and respect? Are we teaching our young people how to be respectful to other people and what to do?”

Ms. Todd is right. I’ve worked in the school system for 35 years, and I have never seen a curriculum that focuses on the aspects of compassion, empathy, kindness and respect. I taught Religious Studies in the Catholic School system, but even in the Religious Studies curriculum there was very little focus on those aspects, at least at the high school level. As Todd says, curriculum focuses on preparing students for university and not on teaching young people about healthy human interaction.

Todd went on to say a common approach involves anti-bullying advocates making a one-time appearance in schools and delivering a lecture to students. She says, “In the school system, when you bring in an anti-bullying advocate now, kids are turning off their ears,” she said. “They’re tired of the conversation. We have to figure out different ways.” That has been my experience. Students listen to a speaker, then forget about it. I have observed little change in their attitudes or behaviour after a talk.

Debra Pepler, a psychology professor who’s done extensive research on aggression in children says,

“Schools are measured on how well they teach literacy and numeracy and science but … social emotional development should be included and it should start in…kindergarten.”

She said the “zero tolerance” approach popular among many school boards involving punitive strategies do nothing to address the root causes of bullying and wind up reinforcing the kinds of behaviour they’re meant to eliminate.

I have to agree with Ms. Pepler. Every school I have taught in has had a “zero tolerance” policy regarding bullying, yet bullying was a big problem in every school I worked in. These policies are great, but virtually impossible to enforce. In my experience, bullying occurs subtly, occurring in locations teachers are rarely in—such as washrooms—or carried out discretely as to not be noticed by teachers. “Zero tolerance” policy is great, but it doesn’t work!

What is the answer then? In my opinion, there needs to be more focus on teaching students about healthy human interactions. Psych Central’s article, Bullying: A Problem That Starts and Ends at Home, says

Research shows that a harsh or negative parenting style is more likely to produce children who are bullies and victims of bullying than an emotionally warm environment with clear rules and supervision. Negative parenting includes obvious offenses like abuse and neglect, but also subtler forms of negative role modeling such as name-calling, threatening, manipulating and persistent teasing. Children learn from the way they’re treated, as well as the way their parents treat each other and the way their parents talk about other people.

Home is where empathy is learned or not learned, and school is where the lessons learned at home get played out. If relationships at home are based on fear and intimidation, children are more likely to use the same tactics with their peers. School bullies and victims are significantly more likely to report being physically hurt by a family member or witnessing violence at home than children who had not been bullied. Kids who are involved in bullying are also more likely to abuse drugs or alcohol and are at higher risk for depression and suicide.

Bullying is a learned behaviour, mostly learned at home, and therefore bullying can be unlearned. The ideal solution is to educate parents on bullying, but that is easier said than done. If empathy is not learned at home, then we as educators have a duty to teach it. The reality is, bullies are hurting people who need to be taught that taking their hurt out on other people is unacceptable.

STOP A BULLY is a registered national charity in Canada, and has an anti-bullying program. Their website shows a study done by the University of British Columbia, based on 490 students (half female, half male) in Grades 8-10 in a British Columbia city in 1999, that reveals
64% of kids had been bullied at school, and that 64% of students considered bullying a normal part of school life. What I found particularly disturbing is that 61-80% said bullies are often popular and enjoy high status among their peers. I have personally seen this to be true. Regarding the ‘on-line’ world, 1 in 5 Canadian Teens have witnessed online Bullying, so it is clearly a huge problem in our world, and teen bullies typically become adult bullies. There is no shortage of bullies in governments and in our work environments. It is time to do something to address the bullying problem our world has.

Dan Pearce, American author and blogger, says “People who love themselves, don’t hurt other people. The more we hate ourselves, the more we want others to suffer.” How true that is!